moving

I am broken. Sore from my neck to the balls of my feet. I want to sleep for a week or a month at least, but I still have to unpack, assemble and rearrange furniture and do tons of laundry. My knees at turns refuse to straighten and to bend. My hands are cramping while writing this.

But I have a new place to live. One all of my own. With a balcony for my plants, where I can sit and read and smoke. And four pools. And a fitness center. And a room with a pool table.

I can do my laundry all night long if I want. While sitting naked watching DVDs on my iMac in my living room. There is a shuttle that arrives at my door every 20 minutes in the morning and takes me to the metro station where I am all but guaranteed a seat until I get to Gallery Place.

And while the people at the leasing office seem to think I will be fine, I am still not sure that I can afford all of this luxury. There will be a tightening of the proverbial belt buckle. No cable hook-up, no more driving to work unless absolutely necessary, I will start to bring my lunch with me and make my own dinners.

But I finally have a home. A place of my own. And, really, I have never been happier.

What it is like | dooce ®

What it is like | dooce ®

So evidently, SOMEONE reads this (hi Natalie)

It's seven days until I turn 32.

I am not OK with this.

I am not having a major meltdown like in 2001 when I turned 25 and nearly had to be committed. But I think that this might be the most difficult one since then. I'm not sure why. Maybe I am finally feeling like an adult.

Or maybe it the same thing as last time. The whole, what the fuck am I doing with my life. There are so many things that I wanted this life to be. That it isn't.

I am no closer to an apartment or house or condo of my own or going to France or Bali or Australia or getting married and having a family than I was in 2001.

But I am trying. I have a roommate who I get along with pretty well. And a job I genuinely like. I'm on meds that are keeping me sane and letting me sleep. I have a boy who, for some reason, thinks I am pretty great, who I am in love with as well.

Maybe it's complacency. I am afraid that the good will disappear and the bad will come back. I really do dread that. There was so much bad for what seemed like so very long.

I thank God for this every day. Just in case she exists.

I KNOW no one reads this...

... so this is mostly for my own memory, but, I thought I would update about my life a bit.

I have a new job, that I started in July sometime. So, not really THAT new, but whatever. I quit my old job at the old law firm that technically is no more since it has a new name and almost none of the people who were there when I left still work there in June and started temping after a week's vacation.

I was at a really small non-profit that worked with USAID for about a month and then they were going to place me at AU but that fell through so they put me at a BIGLAW firm in Dupont Circle. I told the agency that I under no circumstances wanted to work at another law firm, big, small, in-between, pro-bono centric or corporate.

Then I met the HR-Lady.

I LOVE the HR-Lady.

My temp job was to be a floating secretary. Sounded pretty easy. I found that liked it a lot. No pressure.

After about a month she asked me if I wanted to do it on a more permanent basis. I thought about it for about .01 seconds while she said yes there would be health insurance and promptly said yes. Then they offered me more than I asked for in the way of salary. I had to pinch myself.

Did I mention that I LOVE the HR-Lady.

So they floated me to this one desk with this Big Important Attorney (TM) and withing two weeks Big Important Attorney (TM) asked me if I wanted to stay on as his secretary. I thought about it for a while. Then decided on a yes. And HR gave me even MORE money.

LOVE LOVE LOVE HR-Lady.

I've been here even since then.

unexplained sadness - Google Search

unexplained sadness - Google Search

I find myself here again. Google-ing unexplained sadness. Except I know the explanation. It is the depression. The one that comes on strong every year when the sun goes south for the winter. I assume that I will become a snowbird in my old age. Following my happiness south with the sun. But right now I need more meds to keep the crying at nothing at bay.

Knitty: Summer 2007 - Grrr

Grrr

IN LOVE! I have been trying to figure out some animal/toy patterns to make for the mamas-to-be in my life. I think that this and Nautie might be on the top of the list.

Knitty: Spring 2007

Everlasting Bagstopper

i love this pattern. i am going to have to make one for myself and for all of my friends. i have been trying to cut down on my "carbon footprint" and use less fossil fuels and eat less meat. this is a perfect item to carry along with you so that you never need to answer paper or plastic again...

I have discovered that after a week of sleeping with LDB I cannot sleep in my bed alone any more. Both Saturday night and last night I tossed and turned, woke up about every hour or so and generally had a crappy night of sleep.

This knowledge kinda sucks since I am not ready to take on a live in partner yet. Or maybe ever. So I feel a little doomed to sleplessness because of that. Maybe I just need to NOT sleep with anyone at all so that I don't get used to another body in the bed. Have my bed be only for me.

In other sleep relatedness, I have been having more problems with my RLS. It seems like I am getting to the threshold of the Sinimet working. I know that I can take more, but if I am going to top out on that pretty quickly, should I try to get something else?

i had a label.

http://www.twee.net/labels/sarah.html

sadie sent you a link to content of interest

sadie sent you a link to the following content:

Octosquid Discovered, a Cross Between an Octopus and a Squid
http://squid.us/octosquid-discovered-a-cross-between-an-octopus-and-a-squid/

The sender also included this note:

this is the coolest cephalopod i've ever run across. and i am a huge ceph fan.

--
Sent via a FeedFlare link from a FeedBurner feed.
http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/publishers/feedflare